Top photo: Inside The Soggy Dollar.
Bottom photo: The crowd starts early at The Soggy Dollar

Sensing that the job of visiting and reporting on a dozen beach bars would be a staggering task … literally … I decided to scale back my quest. There were a few I could eliminate simply by their geographical location, two miles east of our anchorage in Great Harbour, Jost Van Dyke. I checked out Ali Baba’s and A&B, but when I found The Soggy Dollar I knew my search was over. I’d found the best beach bar in the Caribbean; the trophy over the bar told me so.

Bruce and I hiked to its White Bay location and were surprised that at 10:30 a.m. the place was already filing up fast. People were liming on lounge chairs, hammocks and sofas in the cozy foyer. We grabbed two vacant stools at the counter, across from a bartender busily hand-blending drinks. Beside us a sign held names and descriptions of house drink specialties: Mango Madness (made with mango flavored rum); The Nilla Killa (made with vanilla flavored rum); Raspberry Therapy (made with raspberry flavored rum); and Banana Bender (yep, banana flavored rum). Near the bottom of the list was The Painkiller, with the description, “Invented right here.”

Mic, the smiling bartender, continued moving at high speed, pouring mixtures from bottles into cups, then passing the iced mixture from cup to cup without spilling a drop.

“What is that you’re making?” I asked.
“It a Painkilla,” he said, as he ground fresh nutmeg over each.
“You serve a lot of them?” I asked.
“Billions!” he laughed. “I make a tousan evra day!”

We learned that The Soggy Dollar Beach Bar was celebrating its 37th year on this white sand beach. Mic has worked the bar for years as a self-described ambassador. He could have answered my many questions, but he insisted we meet the owner, Jerry O’Connell. “He can tell you evra ting!”

Jerry appeared from the dining room, greeted us warmly and enthusiastically began explaining the long history of the place he and his wife, Tish, purchased in 2005. Until 1997 there was no road connecting Great Harbour and White Bay. The Soggy Dollar got its name because anyone who went there did so by swimming or boating to the beach. They often bought their drinks with wet money … soggy dollars. Guests came ashore precariously, and so did all the food and supplies.

Decades ago, when Daphne Henderson invented the popular Painkiller cocktail, the island had no electricity. Since then, each owner of The Soggy Dollar has continued Daphne’s tradition of serving blended drinks sans blender. Amplifying the simplicity, there are no lit advertising signs around, no TVs, nothing that makes an invasive noise. Just pleasant island music and a smiling, industrious crew serving beach customers at the bar, restaurant and gift shop, and guests at the adjoining Sandcastle Hotel.

Jerry took me on a tour of the tiny hotel of four octagonal cottages and two rooms behind. The cottages are pristine white inside with elegant tropical ambiance. Each has several shelves holding assorted books, but no phones, TVs or radios, in an effort to create a total escape. Guests have the use of kayaks and snorkeling gear and the staff will arrange day trips; but as their brochure tells you: Serious relaxation is the primary activity at Sandcastle. “The hotel gets a lot of repeat customers,” Jerry told us.

The restaurant has a weekend barbecue and throughout the week serves breakfast and lunch, offering local specialties like conch fritters, chicken roti, calaloo soup and their trademark flying fish sandwich. The evening chef prepares a four-course candlelight dinner for an intimate crowd.

In 2005, The Soggy Dollar was voted best beach bar in the Caribbean in an online contest sponsored by All At Sea magazine and Mt. Gay Rum. The polling territory ran from Venezuela, up the Windward and Leeward islands, beyond to Bermuda and the Bahamas. Mt. Gay presented the winner with a full-on extravaganza that packed the entire beach.

The Soggy Dollar’s character is different from other beach businesses on the island. Guests aren’t allowed to pen their names on the place or hang their worn T-shirts from the rafters. The base of the bar is a long hand-painted mural sitting in a manicured, colorful setting. Jerry pointed to the roof beams bearing uniform patches. “After 9/11, people began to leave their patches. Police, military, firemen. Some send them back after they’ve been here. They’re held with snaps so we can take them down each year to clean them.”

At the edge of the bar hangs a pad of large, hand-gridded paper where customers can leave their name, a message and pre-paid drinks for friends coming behind them. “Most of those go unclaimed,” Jerry told us. Bruce joked, “You mean, we could tell you we’re Ted and Barbara Johnson and collect the two Painkillers left by Dan and Sue?” Jerry laughed. “I guess so.”

“Over there,” he said, pointing to a shade tree where two youngsters were tossing a ring on a rope, aiming for a hook on the tree, “the first ring game was invented right here.” He disappeared into the gift shop returning with a ring game kit. “You can take one home with you. I can’t keep these things stocked.”

A customer nearby handed me the Sandcastle journal, full of comments confirming that this tiny piece of paradise was near perfect. My favorite read: “The Sandcastle, where every urban care and hassle slide like the tide into the Caribbean.” Now, that person knew how to take back his vacation!

If you can’t make the trip to Jost Van Dyke this year, you can join the Soggy Dollar Bar Painkiller Club online. Fill out the application to become a card-carrying member, which entitles you to some humorous free perks, a cool blue wrist band and a peek at this sunny place for shady people.

Jan